12/9/23
i add another clip to my hair. the girl looking at me right now is delicate, feminine in such a vulnerable way. it is unlike anything i have ever seen. i feel like i could break her, shatter her if i removed them. it makes me nauseous. i stop to imagine her dressed up the way i know she likes, in all black with long, flowing skirts, and intricate patterns. i stop to look into her eyes; brown and gold fractals, sucking me in. it is hard to pull myself away, but i do. i am disgusted with myself for getting so distracted; so distraught. when i regain composure and rid myself of the emotion that welled up deep inside me, i make haste. the clips are removed. they fall onto the floor, clattering deafeningly on my ears, but i am not listening. i leave the bathroom and vow to myself: i will bury that girl if no one else will.
10/29/22
My stained glass heart
It beats steadily, see through
I never understood how you could always predict my next move
My stained glass heart
It's made out of pieces I found on the ground
For my own heart was broken when I found out
And I wish I could say you broke it again
But it beats, steadily, see through
9/22/24
things i am grateful for:
Im thinking of the ocean, blue, with a twinkle
In your eye, I see the clouds sitting atop the horizon
Try to put a name to each fluffy shape
As the waves anchor us to the ground.
Im thinking of our bodies, our brains, how the work
Perceive all of the billions of stars above
Take my hand, and step on frozen glass
Under the ice is much to be found.
Im thinking of my hoodie, how it smells like your house
Warming back up to me in the fall
Emotions pent up from memories long gone
Will come out, as if a top were being wound.
Im thinking of frosts melted and pink blooms on trees
Running ahead of you down your tilted street
Left happiness blooming, soon to be your favorite flower
Seeds and shoots under muddy, mulchy mounds.